I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
