I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
