Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
