dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
