Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
