went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
