is your mom at the bar?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
