kristin has been a bad kristin
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
