is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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