At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
