Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
