why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
