Kiss
Puke
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
