can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
