woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
