tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
