i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
