shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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