I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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