Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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