Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize