Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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