How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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