I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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