fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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