Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
