I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He shit in the fireplace
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
