Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
