its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
