do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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