she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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