She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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