apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
