put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
They are going to name an STD after you.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
