I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
