Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
