i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
