I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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