Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
