I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
