Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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