it wasn't lemon gatorade
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
