"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
