i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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