Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
