Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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