I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i think im in europe. pls send help
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
