she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize