Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
