On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
