i would punch a child for taco bell
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
