I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
