I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
