I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Randomize
