Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
No...this little piggys going to the bar
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
