my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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