I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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