I accidentally had phone sex last night
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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