I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i love accidental penises.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
