he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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