i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
