I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize
