Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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