when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I need water and some morals
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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